An Essay
December 2009
by Justin Smith
Illustration by Lisa Champlin.
Autumn Cleaning
Are we what we leave behind?
The accumulated layers pile into one big heap. It doesn't resemble a human or even life. It's the by-product of life, organic and inorganic. It's a quest for knowledge, entertainment, personal gain, sustenance, excess. Is it all meant to sustain? But, isn’t most of it excess? We need only food, clothing and shelter to sustain life, but as a sophisticated species, we need more to occupy our minds. So, is this so-called excess simply meant to sustain our minds, to decorate and display our consciousness?
These things are what I choose to show (or to hide from) the world, a consumption of goods as a creative act of declaring my interests and my place in society. Not creating life but creating sustenance of that life. Much like this essay is a creative act, a collection of things of interest is also a creative act but one of values and needs and wants.
Whether planned or on a whim, I choose these goods. These creative goods act as a physical archive to complement the abstract memory and consciousness. They are tied together. The stores of mental space hold consciousness neatly inside my skull, yet its realization is large and clumsy. Perhaps, this happens because the things I need or want from one time to another don't neatly fit in with all the other things. Then, not only are these objects stored in my memory but also under my bed!
An archaeologist who happens upon what I leave behind after I die might stand and wonder who I was and what I was like, perhaps with a puzzled look on his or her face. What do these by-products say about the human product? These decorations, people amass -- whether for aesthetics or utilitarian purposes -- why were these chosen? What thought went into their acquisition? Maybe they were acquired to get by or maybe they were meant to hold lasting value. Regardless, there they are.
Why are some objects always hidden, or once displayed and now hidden? One major factor is present value. Another factor might even be shame. Going deep into my store of possessions in my mom’s attic reveals layers and layers of values: old books, toys, clothes, art projects, architecture projects . . . on and on they go. To drag them back out would surely help someone track my values across the span of my life.
Animal Collective in its song “Taste” from the recent album “Merriweather Post Pavilion” offers a couple of questions on this whole possessions matter. “Am I really all the things that are outside of me? Would I complete myself without the things I like around?” This presents an idea of being bound to a collection of things. The material extension of life and being is essential, even symbiotic with its owner. But can we exist without our things? “Taste” also brings to mind again the idea of value. People’s tastes comes through in what they present to others whether they would like it to or perhaps not sometimes. The singer wants a simple life that’s reflected in his things. In the final verse he requests that the other person “try not to judge me on my kind of taste.” He immediately turns this statement outward with the next line: “And don’t go changing clothes when they don’t like yours.” This speaks to being confident with what is put on display.
Life has brought me and my collection to Tulsa. I really enjoy Tulsa. Growing up in Collinsville, I considered myself a Tulsan-by-association, but now I’m a full-fledged Tulsan. Sampling what Tulsa has to offer, I have found many things to collect at some future point that announce, “Hey! I’m from Tulsa!” While writing the beginning of this paragraph, it dawned on me to consider the point of displaying these uniquely Tulsa items while in Tulsa. Besides displaying T-Town pride, the idea of their presentation almost seems redundant. It’s as if these items are meant for future use when I’ve moved from Tulsa, an ambassador-at-large of Tulsa. “Hey! I used to be from Tulsa!”
So, whether our possessions collections are large or small, they still speak about us. Minimalist or maximalist or all "-ist"s in between, these things come into our lives for whatever reason and for whatever amount of time, some more ephemeral, some useful for a long time, others just linger. So, maybe we are what we leave behind. A manifestation (large or small) of each life. Our consciousness on display.
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